Stomach Pains: Bitters and Soda Panacea

-The kitchen cure for an upset stomach.-

When you’re cooking and eating three, or four, or five, and sometimes six different macaroni and cheese recipes within a 24 hour time span it can kinda rock your system a little. Even if you’ve built up a mighty tolerance to take in and process copious amounts of pasta and well-aged milk that much food can just knock you out. Even if you relegate yourself to just tastes you have to taste and taste and taste throughout each and every step so it results in staggering amounts of consumption.

It’s part of what comes with working as a food blogger or cookbook writer, I suppose. One must throw themselves upon the sword, or, perhaps, a steak knife and suffer for their craft so that others may benefit. While the meal may be delicious, the photos spectacular, and the writing practically sacrosanct so polished and holy are the words the eater in question may well suffer.

We’ve all had those meals that shift our focus on food and leave an indelible mark on how we cook. We’ve also had those ones where we stuff ourselves stupid and have to sit on the curb outside for fifteen minutes without moving as any motion to our now-potbellied gyroscopic selves will make us hurl into the parking lot. After a while we can waddle our way to the car and the emergency ration of Tums that Why-for-the-love-of-God-don’t-they-work-instantaneously.

It’s the price we pay. Unless, of course, you know a few tricks.

I have on solid homespun remedy for such a physical (albeit self-inflicted) dilemma that my grandmother on my father’s side taught me.

Fizzy water and bitters.

Really. Seriously.  It is that simple.

I don’t care how much you’ve eaten or what it was, I guarantee this will work. I’ve converted many to this bubbly panacea (most recently my partner, Stephanie, who will equally swear by it).

I don’t know why it works. My grandmother – a stalwart and proper old woman who wore silk well, kept a sharp string of pearls, and didn’t trust anyone but herself to polish the family silver – never explained it to me. I rationalize it as a simple old money, WASP-y nostrum. One that comes from a family where cocktail hour lasted from 7:30 at dusk till last man standing. Still, you can’t argue with the restorative results.

The bitters aren’t actually so bitter, but rather, floral, fragrant, spicy, sweet. (And, yes, a tad bitter. Obviously.) Add a few hearty shakes – about 3 to 5 –  to some soda water over ice and nurture that glass like a baby bird for the next half hour or so. You’ll feel sprightly, bright, and ready to go with any effects of your heavy-set meal gone.

The bitters you choose is up to you. Grandmother preferred Angostura before it was cool and when it was the only bitters on the market, while I enjoy rhubarb bitters as they’re sweeter, sour, and very floral.

Give it a shot next time you’re a bit doubled over from over-eating. It’ll do you well.

Bitters and Soda Panacea
Ice
Tonic Water or Club Soda
Bitters (your choice)

Place the ice in a tall glass and pour 3-5 good shakes of bitters in the glass. Top with tonic water or club soda and drink.