How I Will Leave

-Elaine, working me to the bone.-

After an entire month, four and a half weeks, of working in the pastry department at Grange I feel like I'm in some odd in-between state. I am abandoning my chef's whites and dressing back into my civies. Wardrobe aside I'll have to completely readjust myself. I have to adapt to a more sedentary job once again as opposed to running around and working with my hands. No more swearing, god-fucking-dammit, as I work around families, children, and more vernacular conservative types. The worst injury I can suffer at the office is a paper cut, as opposed to the hot, sharp, slippery world I'm leaving behind.

Out of the frying pan and into the cubicle.

I look forward to seeing my co-workers and going back to my job. To be honest, I'm anxious about the 700+ e-mails in my inbox. And, though I set up everything to operate just fine in my absence, I secretly hope that the place burned down so that my presence is seen as necessary (in the sake of job security during this economy).

Still, I will miss Grange. I will miss my pastry peeps. I will miss the banquets for 120 people and having to make and roll espresso-chocolate roulades for them in under two hours. I will no longer scoff at the challenges on Top Chef because I understand how difficult they really are now. I understand that even the most skilled bakers burn butter and caramel from time to time. I will miss the delicious family meals and chatting with the other cooks. I will not miss the smell of the meat fridge and having to play Tetris with the buffet towers in there in order to get to the freezer. I will miss the little nuggets about savory cooking from the Kitchen and Banquet departments. I will miss the sore feet. I will miss burning my hands on pans and cutting myself with knives. I will miss Kara, Dennis, Hilary, Chef and all the other who were so very welcoming to me and were eager to teach me everything from the grace of the line to pairing cocktails. I will miss Melissa and Ashlee who cheered me on and helped this little dream of mine flourish into reality. I will miss the pastry assistants, Jackie and Ashley, and the daily banter we got to share. I will truly, sorely miss Elaine Baker, who took me in and taught me everything she could. Who put up with my sass and shot it right back. Who taught me how to keep calm and carry on, and that dessert may be last, but that it should never be least.

I got everything I wanted to out of my externship. I learned more in a month than I ever could in a year at cooking school. My skills are honed, and my confidence in the kitchen a thousand times stronger. I can plate for two or two-hundred now. I can make sugar sing.

I entered as Garrett but left as Gianduja, Randy's Twin, and F.I. (aka: Fucking Intern). I leave as a baker with experience; a more confident cook and food writer.

-A collective calm in a sea of crazy.-