Only You Can Save Girl Scouts (From Monsters)

"Want some Girl Scout Cookies?" piped the girl in the brownie colored vest. Her charcoal black braids were tied tight behind her ears framing a wide grin and hazel eyes.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm good." I had already punished two boxes of Thin Mints yesterday and I didn't think it wise to go for a new personal record. She would have to scout out another cookie-craving person to push her wares on.

"Are you sure? They support the Girl Scouts."

"Obviously, but no, thank you." I put up my hand and began to walk around her.

"What? Well what about for your girlfriend? Boyfriend? Boss? Someone you can buy love from with cookies?" she followed me waving the colorful boxes, her braids bouncing with entrepreneurial fury.

"Uhh, I'm okay. Dang." I pushed past her. Intrigued, but stalwart.

She stopped moving and yelled, "You have to buy these cookies." This was no longer a question, but a command.

"Oh?" I turned around to face my pint sized superior. My eyebrow raised and I smirked, "And why is that?"

"If you don't -" and I shit you not she said this, "- some giant tentacle monster will rip open the sky and devour me. The four dollars in your pocket are the only sacrifice I can offer that will keep me safe."

Quiet pause.

"Damn. Wow. Okay. That's the best reason for a box of cookies ever. Here's four dollars. I'll take some Thin Mints."

"Thank you," she squeaked. She scampered over to her Den Mother then came back with a green box and dollar.

"You know you're going to take over the world someday right?" I noted, turning to go into the market.

"Yes."