365 x 26 in Under a Second

Myself, being a person of forgetful nature, am inclined to lose track of many things. It can then be no surprise that more often than not I forget that it's my birthday. In fact I only remembered last year when my brother called me and wished me well. Even then there was a small argument on when my birthday was (not the day itself but wether it indeed actually was that day). I like to think of myself not so much as absent minded and forgetful but as possessing an endearing lack of recollection. Still, this year I did well and was actually aware of June 2nd's personal importance ahead of time.

Now I'm very proud of myself for surviving yet another 365 days on Earth and was willing to celebrate it. Being highly accident prone to the point of being a general hazard to myself and others I think it's worth a little reward. (I didn't do something foolish and kill myself, let's celebrate!) So I took the day off from work intent on not doing a goddamn lick of work, studying, or anything that one could call even remotely productive.

After Eat Beast woke me up at 5:30 per his usual schedule to feed him I got back into bed and slept in. When I woke up 4 hours later I had a simple breakfast of oatmeal with blackberries that the BF and I picked at Mike Madison's farm over the weekend. I stretched out on the couch in the pair of boxer briefs I slept in and sipped down a steamy over-steeped cup of chai tea as I read the New York Times and my favorite web comics. It was a successful and deserved start to my day.

Come noon we went to Dad's Kitchen to meet up with the BF's sister, a baker at the neighboring Freeport Bakery, and her girlfriend for lunch. We laughed and traded stories, I flipped off the offensive table umbrella that called me an asshole (another story), and sighed a deep sigh after failing to finish off a Dad's Burger - a burger covered in cheese and seared in a blanket of bacon served on a roll with pickeled onions, pickles, tomatoes and lettuce all homemade and/or grown by staff - and a side of garlic Parmesan fries.

As we settled over the bill I was in a small state of nirvana. A state which hardly ever lasts.

For just a second I stop and reflect on where I am. Am I where I thought I would be at twenty-six?

At times I feel I should be a bit further along than I am now. I haven't had my Grand Adventure in life. I haven't published a book yet. I haven't even thought of starting a family or settling down, though the thoughts are beginning to niggle at the back of my head. I haven't sky dived. I haven't learned how to make a macaron. I haven't tasted a squash blossom or a truffle. I haven't been to Alinea, French Laundry, Manressa, Contigo, Zuni Cafe or Chez Pannise. I haven't finished my Masters. And I'm still not quite one hundred percent sure what I want to do with my life. I'm twenty-six. Aren't I supposed to have done a bit more by now?

But then again, I'm twenty-six. I've done a lot I'm proud of. The blog. My education. My writing. My recipes. My relationships. My travels. My small apartment that I've made into a quaint home of sorts. My cats, annoying as they are. I'm proud of all of that.

My mood on all this depends on the day, if I've eaten, what I've recently read, my stress level and the position of heavenly bodies in relation to me.

The worry subsides quickly. All these thoughts have occurred in my own slowed perception of time. In less than a second I'm snapped out of reflecting about the last 26 years and if I spent them right. I know I have. I'm with people I care about and who make me laugh. I join the others in laughing over erectile dysfunction of the extra greasy fries (which are the tastiest ones by far) and they limp over shyly in your fingers.

This moment sort of defines where I am - surrounded by good people and good food. A good birthday to be sure.