Making an order at the local taqueria the other day...
"So what is the name on your order, Sir?"
"Garrett."
"Derek?"
"Garrett."
"Gary?"
"No. Garrett."
"Jonathan?"
*pause of disbelief*
"...Sure. Jonathan is fine."
Seriously. How?
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Same way they get 'Ian' and 'Yvonne' from Anne. Really.
ReplyDeleteYour croutons are making me hungry...and I was just informed by my dr that I need to cut carbs (not eliminate) and add protein. Sigh.
I'll just remember what perfect, crunchy, garlicky, buttery croutons taste like. :-)
Similar story: My husband, who's an Aussie, and I went out to eat with my parents one night. Now, you have to realize that yes, he does have an accent, but it's not strong at all. So, the waitress asks us all what we want to drink, and when she asks my husband, he says, "Coke." She looks at him with the very confused face and says, "sweet tea?". How the hell she got sweet tea from Coke still baffles us, and we never let him live it down.
ReplyDeleteI was once called "Death" rather than "Beth", which explained why the guy was fascinated with the origin of my name.
ReplyDeleteAt the coffee shop one day I gave them my name (Fanny) and never heard it called. After a few minutes I realized the drink for Vinny must have been mine.
ReplyDeleteMy friend "Dylan" got turned into "Jelly" once. Yeah. . . cause THAT'S a name. I do not use Charlene when leaving my name; I use Lisa. I can't bear the hassle of having to spell/explain, only to hear "Shelly" after all that. . .
ReplyDeleteCharlene
As a fellow Garrett, I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten 'julie' out of 'Amy' before...
ReplyDeleteI get it with my last name. They scalp it.
ReplyDeleteHey - I just went to pick up some sushi with my husband, Steve, and they wrote "pickup for Spez" on our order. Figure that one out.
ReplyDeleteKind of like Eileen- Irene, Ellen, Elizabeth. Earleen... whatever.
ReplyDeleteWow. Here I thought my name getting misheard as "Pad" was bad. Suddenly all the "Scott"s and "John"s I've gotten over the years seem downright reasonable.
ReplyDeleteDon't fight it. Just go wtih it.
ReplyDeleteThe Boyfriend's name is Franklin, but he's Venezuelan so that REALLY confuses people. Really badly.
My name is "Alyssa" and I get everything from Melissa to Alisha.
HAHAHAHA.....I totally hear you on that Garrett, my name is Daria and I usually just get the look of confusion when I give it for a reservation too. I now use the name, Abe Froeman, Sausage King of Chicago. It's a Ferris Bueller reference..you also need to give a bit of a swagger and attitude when saying it...but it's always good for a laugh. Try it next time!!
ReplyDeleteOh Daria, I hate that film. Maybe I'll just go with something like Black Mamba.
ReplyDeleteTry being named "Dewi." I've lived that post many, many times. It always ends on "Doolie." Seriously, is that a common woman's name now?
ReplyDeleteI work in telephone customer service and, it's funny, because everyone has a different approach to this particular problem. Some of us, and I count myself among the 'us' here, roll with the punches. Casey, Stacy, Tracy and Ann (go figure) are among the names I get called on a daily basis - only occasionally do they nail my real name. And then some of the girls - poor things, have ethnic names that are more than three letters, one syllable and, in truth a single sound. ("How do you spell Kay?" - from the 'questions I can't believe I've really been asked file) THESE poor girls are forced to do this - "Rosalia. Rosalia... No Ro-sal-i-a... R-O-S-A-L-I-A" and sometimes I wonder why they don't just say "Rosalia...okay, no, ya know what - I lied, it's Susan."
ReplyDeletemy name's stefanie and i've gotten jennifer. a lot. i've decided that its due to a similar popularity rating, especially for those of us born in the 70s and 80s.
ReplyDeleteof course, that's just pronunciation. don't get me started on spelling.....
OH, I've been in your shoes so many times. When I say that my name is Maris people tend to hear Mary, Mara, Marie, Meredith, Marisa or Maria. If it's not someone who really needs to know I usually just let them think they were right.
ReplyDeleteWatch some Flight of the Conchords
ReplyDeleteThick New Zealand accent: "He may be dead."
New Yorker: "He maybe did.... what?"
Oh, Garrett, thanks for the giggles of sympathy. You'd think a name with only three letters in it wouldn't be an alphabet's worth of trouble but you'd be wrong. I've never been Ian or Yvonne like the first poster, but I am usually Pam, sometimes Jan or Marianne and occasionally Maria or Celia. My boss, Stan, is alternately Sam, Dan, or Steve. But the hands-down favorite and Olympic all-around gold medal winner is a client, whose actual first name is Ferdinand, who was called Ferdreedle Kielbasi (spelling phonetic, obviously). Not kidding. Seriously. You really can't make up this stuff.
ReplyDeleteIf I have a daughter, I'm naming her Bernadeth. Nixed from the list: Mad Harriet and Alice Vundabar, just because they seem like near-riffs on Alice in Wonderland characters.
ReplyDelete