This message goes out to the dude at the sammich shop who was yelling on his cell phone at his wife and bitching her out over the phone in front of countless people. In your huff of pure dickitude and calling your wife lazy you grabbed my lunch by accident.
Given, maybe you are in the right. Maybe she really is an awful person and you deserved to just let it out. But making a scene of it for over 30 people and ruining their lunches? Do it in your car. I reserve my breakdowns for home or on the blog.
Or, maybe you really are just a total scumbag and she needs to pack her things and go. Whatever.
Anyways, by now you surely realized you grabbed my lunch which had cheese. You're lactose intolerant. You made that very clear when you ordered and yelled at the poor guy working there that you "might fucking die if there's cheese."
Anyways, thanks as well. Due to you taking my lunch I got free soup to boot for the extra wait. Score for me.
Garrett... I think you need to stop standing in lines. Or possibly change cities. Have you considered Austin? The people aren't nearly as hostile there/here (we moved, but still).
ReplyDeletehaha! As someone who works food retail, i really appreciate your reactions to the common indecency people show to thos eemployed in teh service industry!
ReplyDeleteAs for "just_me", you haven't stood in line at whole foods yet, have you?
though i do admit, working in austin was somewhat more pleasant than working in Houston (surprisingly customers in nyc are the nicest!).
Apparently, people in Sacto can get a little crazy? Too close to the bureaucracy maybe? I don't know. I haven't run into a crazy yet, but I'll be on alert.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs!
Unfortunately I'm sure the behemoth turned around later and came back to berate the poor deli guy for his own ignoramus mistake.
ReplyDeleteHoly moly. You certainly do seem to run into far more than your fair share of morons/idiots/rude people when you're out and about. Since moving to Austin is a bit drastic (and probably impractical), try eating/coffeeing in East Sac; we're more laid back and friendly out here. :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a lot of characters you meet! Although I doubt that the cheese in your sandwich will actually kill him, I certainly hope that it is helping him to discover his inner (as well as outer) A**hole!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA! Karma can be hillarious!
ReplyDeleteDude. Appalling. That's all I've got to say about that.
ReplyDeleteHe probably blamed the wrong sammy on his wife. And if he really was stupid enough to eat it, he not only is a pain but feels it right there too.
ReplyDeleteMy ex used to do this to me. I didn't realize until after I divorced him how much other people disliked him. His co-workers (and their families!) gave me an earful afterwards.
ReplyDeletelol. sorry to laugh but you are such a funny writer. what an ass. sorry he took your lunch:(
ReplyDeleteI was laughing out loud until I saw Catherine's response. Sadly, she's probably right, if the guy gets sick, he'll blame the sandwich guy.
ReplyDeleteBut okay, now I'm back to laughing again. Phew!
As they said on one of my favorite radio shows today: "The world would be better if people would just stop being so douchy."
ReplyDeleteNow if that's not wisdom... I don't know what is.