Dining Alone - The Experiment

Having been sitting on my own musings for a while on the concept of eating alone I finally decided to go out and explore it. Eating alone comes with a certain stigma - we fear being judged lonely or single. Pariahs. That there is a reason that one dines alone and it is not of our own choosing. 

With finals over and finally having a chance to sit down and read a book for fun on my own accord I decided it was a perfect chance to go and put the theory to the test. I made reservations at a relatively nice restaurant and decided to be irresponsible and splurge a tincey bit. A night for me. To celebrate me. Just for me. It may sound a bit conceited but I find it necessary to take time for oneself and even spoil yourself once in a while. Otherwise one goes crazy; the longest icicle doesn't form in a single snow, stress builds slowly over time until it finally just makes you break. This was a chance to just... BE.

As I quickly strolled down the dark wet sidewalks of downtown Sacramento, my gait wide in an attempt to warm myself in the shiver-inducing, brisk winter air, I glanced at those passing by and silently observed their habits and walks and listened to snippits of their conversations. Checking my watch I noticed I was running a bit early as traffic had been better than anticipated. Ginger's was only another block east; tucking my book and umbrella underarm I dashed across the street. 

We quickly chatted about Christmas plans, both personal and business over a few macarons and played a bit of catch up. Soon it was time and back through the cold air I dashed arriving shortly at the door to Mulvaney's.

"Hi, I'm a bit early. I made a reservation for one at 6:30? It's under McCord."

She confirmed and smiled a coquettish grin, "Would you like a table or sit at the chefs table to watch some preparation."

"The chefs table sounds great actually." The hostess led me through the cozy dining room, the beams decorated tastefully with lights and artfully crafted silk birds in vermillion and gold. She sat me at the bench where I removed my scarf and jacket delicately putting them over the back of the stool-back.

I looked around at the other people dining, in the back an elderly couple seemed to quietly chat over whatever people have left to talk about after how many years of marriage. A first date in the corner was obviously boring the lady in the scarlet dress as she twirled her hair and let her eyes wander aimlessly. A party or two on this side or that, but for the most part it was still empty. And then there was me. 

And I didn't mind. It seemed everyone was too busy with themselves and their dining guests to pay any mind to the single twenty-something at the bar table with a book. I suppose a stray thought or two may have entered their consciousness upon seeing me but I seemed to be by my self with no other minds to consider. 

I ordered a carrot and vanilla soup, the striped sea bass with mushrooms and pesto, and a glass of white wine. Simple and easy food that was light and tasty. My waitress seemed perky and sweet, assisting me perfectly through the night. 

"So enjoying your night out?" she queried as she removed my soup bowl.

"Yeah, actually. Just enjoying a night out for me." I smiled.

I took pause from my book to watch Chef Mulvaney work. We had met once or twice before, but always in passing and never enough of a conversation to impress upon his memory it seemed. Silently observing from my perch like a curious owl I was mesmerized by the method and pace that took place before me, all done in quiet meditation as one might undertake for serenity. His fingers, stained crimson from beets that must have been utilized early, slowly work and flattened bits of shortbread dough, each mound being rolled out with a bottle of brandy. The dough was the layered with a thin piece of candied fennel and a bit of pomegranate syrup. Each one was meticulously put together in silent solitude and dedication, paying to mind to what was going on around him. He paused only to explain something to one of the wait staff.

There was a moment when he introduced himself to a couple next to me and showed them some porcini mushrooms which he then whipped up into a special dish with them. He, the couple and the waitress then discussed and tasted a fine French wine the couple in question had ordered, something hitting $80. I was a bit jealous at the attention, I admit, but regardless who you are a 10 minute discussion on the nuances of so-and-so wine rings a bit snobby to me. Still, they all seemed to know what they were talking about and there was no air of pomp about them; it all seemed genuine. So whatever.

As I finished my wine and my chapter I paid my bill, leaving a healthy 20%. The night had been unexpectedly simple. I assumed there would be questioning, looks, drama, curiosity. Indeed the night was mundane if you had been watching me. However, I found it relaxing. Ohm-like. Simple. Without a dining companion I could focus on my reading, my own thoughts, the flavors of the food. Each without distraction. The night rang clear as a bell. 

It wasn't the grandest experiment, I'll grant you that. It was, however, enlightening. More than that, it was relaxing. Necessary. 

I highly suggest you all do the same.