Dining Out Alone?

Pulling from the archive because between painting, putting furniture together, and so on I haven't had a big chance to post much. Still, I find this topic always brings up some interesting ideas and self reflection in people. ~Garrett

For some reason people have this intense aversion to dining alone. We feel that we stand out as some kind of social pariah, freak, or curious pervert of sorts. We think we are being judged when 10-1 most people don't give us a second thought, or even notice us.

There is apprehension from waiters about if they will utter the phrase "Is the rest of your party coming?" to which we must reply, "No," and hope that the smile they return to us doesn't belie a commiseration for our single dining selves. Or, even worse, pity.

Why is that? Why are we so terrified to dine alone?

Let me clarify that by dining alone, I mean alone with just your thoughts and eyes and inner dialogue. No bringing a book or work as armor, feigning that you're far too busy to be bothered by people. Indeed, the power-intellectual lunch for one is revered, but without these guards we fear being judged by complete strangers.

An interesting thought: How often do you go for a walk alone, rent a movie for a night by yourself, relax with a book in the library, or enjoy a cup of coffee with no one else? How, especially when in a public setting, is this so different?

Probably because we are raised to think of food as a communal thing. Eating lunch with co-workers is the modern potlatch.

Food can be communal, but it doesn't have to be. And does one really need company to treat themselves to a nice meal on the town with no one else?

Not to say I'm immune. I too feel this strange apprehension pull me back from dining alone. It at times feels lonesome and empty, and for some reason part of me is concerned about what others think of me. I know I might give a wayward thought (but little else) if I saw someone in a restaurant just mulling in his own head and noshing away.

I know others who refuse to eat out alone at all, fear and tension wracking them at the mere thought of it. We fear judgement. The word "loner" carved into our foreheads. The lone diner - a spectacle and oddity who must obviously lack the most basic social functions. No one wants to be seen as that.

Still, I think in the next few weeks I'll have to make a reservation for someplace swanky with white tablecloths and see if I can figure this out.

Any thoughts? Ideas?