Demon Spawn-ish-ness in a Restaurant is Learned, not Inherited

I think we all know how I feel about ill-behaved children in restaurants. I still hold myself to that opinion. But let me delve into a related topic; bad manners in children are learned from the closest role models and disciplinarians: parents.

Now, I know I don't have kids, but what I'm going to say is straightforward and simple fact. If your child is a total dick in a restaurant, begging me with a high pitched squeal to gag him or her with a dinner roll, then we should be analyzing the parent.

I'll condone the fact that sometimes it's not the parent, it might just be a night where for some reason, Satan himself has possessed the child in the attempt to drive all of God's creatures to plunge the nearest salad fork into their skulls as a means of escape. But when the child is the definition of hell spawn on a regular basis, then yeah, parents need to take charge.

I was in a cafe grabbing a quick sammich on the go recently, to find a child - I kid you not - spitting towards other customers. The mother just gave weak willed pleads, not orders, to "Honey, please stop that. It's not nice." The child would continue, she would sigh, eat a bite of her salad, then try again, begging him to stop.

My parents, God bless 'em, did an amazing job raising me. They would have taken me to the car, and sat with me till I calmed down. And should I talk back and really act up, a smack on the behind. A spanking rarely ever happened in our household (I don't think I can even count on one hand the number of times), but when it did, it only happened once for the reason given, and never again. If we were punished, both parents held strong to the punishment and there were no if, ands, or buts about it. There was a padlock on the TV cabinet to give example on how the punishments stuck; not that I didn't eventually learn that the key was hidden in a secret compartment in her flowery jewelry box. We learned to accept our punishment, since once it was done, we would be free. Any rebellion would be quickly put down and vanquished. Then we would be grounded further. If we did good, a lesson was learned, and all was forgiven.

Anyways, as this poor woman's child told her to shut up, continued to spit, and make noise you couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Parenting doesn't come with a handbook, and so sometimes the parent feels lost and out of control. Especially in a restaurant, surrounded by critical eyes and judgment.

Still, everyone wanted to scream to her, "YOU ARE THE PARENT! Knock some sense into the brat!" (I'm not condoning smacking him unconscious, but you get my drift, the woman needs to take charge.)

But there is the other parent, the one who barks at the waiter, is rude to the hostess, and yells at the child in public when the child is being a total pea soup spewing, head spinning, out of The Exorcist, demon spawn that congealed from the host-parent. Upset your child is rude and obnoxious? Don't set that kind of example. Screaming parent = screaming child. Rude parent = rude child. Anyone I know with kids confirms this.

A friend of mine told me she took her grand kid out to the car and sat with her kicking and screaming for 45 minutes until she shut up and they went back to the restaurant. Kid never acted up around grandma again, but still acts up around mom and dad. Bravo grandma for showing who's boss.

I guess that, yeah, it's not fair to say that if you can't control your kid you shouldn't take them out with you, but at the same time, screw you. Everyone else should not have to suffer. You pay a baby sitter for that shit. (Anyone remember poor Rosalyn from Calvin and Hobbes?)

Otherwise you know the punishment. I use your child as an blunt instrument of good demeanor "education" on you.