This is Cid. Cid is our good cat. The well mannered one, minus his habit of opening every drawer and cabinet in the apartment that is. But his eating habits are normal, and don't irritate me in any way.Until recently that is. Mace, the Eat Beast's, eating habits are wearing off on Cid. Cid, when I wasn't looking, snatched a piece of egg salad sammich away from me. It's the first time he's ever done this, so he got a good scare when I squirted some water at him and I doubt it will happen again.
However, the second I go to photograph the evidence
for a post about this, what should happen? The Eat Beast, who possesses supernatural abilities when it comes to food, suddenly swooped down and stole the piece of sandwich right as I clicked the picture! Then *poof* he was gone when I moved the camera away from my face.Like photographing Bigfoot or a UFO, all I have is a blur on film that can't either confirm or deny anything. You just have to take my word for it. It's the Eat Beast striking once again. Seriously, how does something so goddamn fat move so quick?
I have a cat like Mace..only he is a fat cat named Simon. He ate my turkey sausage this morning! He'll eat anything! Doritos, chocolate ice cream (but strawberry is his fav), and even beans. He likes pinto beans the best. He even attacked my salad..but spit out the cukes. He licked the blue cheese dressing off of every piece of lettuce.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain man.
What can you say about cats, they are law unto themselves! I too have an extremely large, slow cat, who I saw whizzing past and scaling a tall fence, while I was gardening! I was amazed and at the same time in awe!
ReplyDeleteHahah hilarious. =P
ReplyDeleteGarrett,
ReplyDeleteThat cat clearly needs to go to confession. He needs to sit behind a red curtain and admit to his compulsive thieving.
I had a cat with no morals whatsoever. He stole two large cold cooked salmon, beautifully dressed, from the centre table at a weddding party in our communal gardens in Notting Hill. He did it with one quick movement of the claw and they were found in our basement - a trail of disgrace and greed. We got it in the neck.
I have tagged you on the Great Big Veg Challenge. I hope you dont mind - its seven random food facts. Forgive me if you hate tagging....
Nice. I love the Eat Beast updates :-)
ReplyDeleteStill, I hope Cid pulls it together, since two Eat Beasts might be difficult to handle!
I still like your cat.
ReplyDeleteYou won't believe how agile or quick fat cats move. We used to have one named Kitty and boy lordy could he just move quicker than anything. But he never tried to snag anything I was eating! I feel for you!
ReplyDeleteThat's what you get for having a cat. They're evil beasts. But your Blog is great! It's so well written and readable.
ReplyDeleteAt least your cats eat what they pillage...mine used knock anything mildly important and food related on the floor, bat it around a little bit with her paws, and then lose interest in it. There would be just enough cat hair in whatever it was to make me lose my appetite.
ReplyDelete