The Cooking Show Criterion

I'm watching "Easy Entertaining with Michael Chiarello," and once again, I'm not quite sure what to think. I like everything he cooks, and I am rarely, if ever, disappointed with his recipes in their taste and appearance. However, it really is the cliche cooking show, I.E. "Today we will be cooking with ingredients you've never heard of, using tools you can niether afford nor find, in a kitchen bigger than your entire house!"

I'm lucky to live in California, where practically everything is available to me within a short drive. However, if you're in Kansas or Paris, I don't think you'll be reaching out your window for that fresh buttery avocado, or driving to the local Chinatown for a black market mangosteen. I know that my sketchy easy bake oven built into the wall isn't even close to reliable, and the electric stovetop's reliability comes and goes with the faces of the moon. Then there is that one truly esoteric ingredient that is so hard to find that your only chance of obtaining it is by selling your left kidney to a specialty grocer on the internet. I recall one particular hunt for fennel pollen (aka: "the spice of angels", que the eye-roll), anise fronds eventually being used as a substitute.

Let's also take into consideration that Mr. Chiarello was raised on a very prominent and successful vineyard in the Napa Valley, and the winery has now expanded into also selling Napa Style, collections of Napa Valley inspired furniture, foods, and kitchen paraphernalia. Yeah, I'm thinking he has the time, staff, and resources to create such awesome food. Plus, most of what he makes is simply out of my humble budget's reach.

But Michael is not alone, lets look at a the Barefoot Contessa and her east coast Hampton home on the beach (or Martha's Vineyard, or wherever it is). Have you seen Sandra Dee's lifestyle? I'm amazed she can even do the show since it's always cocktail time for her it seems. Many of these culinary stars simply have access and excess that the everyday viewer does not.

But ah, I must confess, I still watch the shows. We observe the techniques, absorb the information, memorize the quick and easy to alterate recipes, and through osmosis learn of new and exciting flavors! It's a guilty and enjoyable pleasure!

I remember in college the Iron Chef Ramen competition we had. My friend and I made strudel, chilled ramen with spicy salsa, Thai Ramen, and of course pasghetti (never spaghetti). We need a cooking show thats a bit more every day: "Well, we have half a jar of jelly, a stick of butter, and some stale pizza crusts still sitting in the original box. Oh, and that ancient box of baking soda in the back. You also seem to have a zillion spices in your spice rack for the food you don't have."

"I've got some Starbursts and vodka in the freezer if that helps..."

"Excellent! Perfect for a dessert reduction sauce!" says our chipper celebrity chef. Twently minutes later we have some sort of edible, and possibly tasty meal. A cooking show for college students and for the weeks we just don't have a chance to get to the market would be awesome. I'm sure it's been done, but seriously, in college we made some crazy food that I still make once in a while.

Tune in this fall for "The Poor and Lazy Kitchen" with So-and-So on Food Network! Yeah... I would watch that.

Thai Ramen
Serves one, add one serving of each ingredient for each person.
This tastes like college food, btw, but great if you don't wanna move much or nuthin'.

What You'll Need...
1 package of instant ramen of any flavor
1/2 can coconut milk
1/2 can of chicken stock
1 cup each of milk and cream (or 2 cups of one or the other)
Dry unsweetened shredded coconut
pepper, sugar, salt
cilantro

What You'll Do...
No real directions here. Cook the ramen and throw out the flavor packet; too many calories anyway. Drain the ramen and wash under cold water. Throw it into a bowl, add the liquids. Add sugar, pepper and salt to taste. Add the shredded coconut. Throw in some cilantro for appearance and taste. Boom, boom, boom, yer done. Feel free to alter this as you see fit, I can see lime or chili peppers working well.